Half way there... 21 weeks!

Pregnancy just keeps getting better and better! I truly wish everyone could experience the pure joy of pregnancy, all women and men ;-) I keep asking Keith if he kind of wishes he could be pregnant, and he answers No everytime. But I think he and every other man must secretly wonder what it feels like. I feel so unbelievably unworthy and blessed to be able to carry and aid in the growth and development of our little angel. She gets to come to work with me everyday, I get to feed her by chosing my food wisely (most of the time), I get to take her for long walks, I get to introduce her to languages and music, and I get to feel her love taps as she moves around (which she does quite frequently).

I am pretty sure the mother's instinct in me started its development at around age 6, when my mom was pregnant with my little sister. I have always been that girl who just had to hold the baby, any baby. I am not sure if this is annoying or helpful. Whenever we are over at our friends' house Egil and Veronica, who have 2 children aged 3 and 5 months, I am pretty much always looking for opportunities to hold the baby, or play with the 3 year old. I never thought that the mother's instinct in me could get stronger, but it definitely has, and most likely will even more. I have taken some pictures of my growing tummy lately, and just looking at the pictures makes me teary eyed because the bigger the belly gets, the closer we are to holding our angel.

And Keith, oh sweet Keith. He is so excited and just glows when he gets to feel the love taps and especially when he gets to hear the heart beat at the doctor's office. Yes, we are that couple who go together to my check ups every time. I don't think Keith would miss them for the world because he gets to hear the heart beat. Being a student during this time has been a blessing in that respect.

So, some updates on some fun things we have done lately:

- On May 2nd we had our first ultrasound and we got to see our baby and the mid-wives told us they think that it is a girl (I already said that in the last post). We were so excited about sharing the fun news with my family, so we invited them over for cake and coffee that night. I had made chocolate cupcakes the day before, and when I got home I just added a little filling with pink frosting. I topped them with white cream cheese frosting and drew little question marks on each of them with these little silver edible balls. I made my sisters, my mom, and my grandparents guess before they ate their cupcakes, and it was a tie; 3 girls and 3 boys. Then they all cut into their cupcakes at the same time. I loved seeing their faces and getting to share it with them. We, of course, cannot be 100% sure that it is a girl, but for now we say "she" instead of "it".

- Keith and I have been going on amazing long walks together. I love to exercise, and before the second trimester I would jog and do high intensity interval strength training. Since I am trying to be a bit more careful  (and frankly it isn't as easy to jump around), Keith takes me on long and wonderful walks and hikes. Why didn't we do this all the time before. We have always done walks together, but since this is our new form of exercise, we go for longer walks and experiment with different trails. We have been exploring majorly and will be gone between 1 and 3 1/2 hours. We can walk out our door and choose between 5 awesome walks/hikes. Some are up and down hill, some are pretty much straight up, some are mostly trails through the woods, others are through neighborhoods, and we even have some trails by the ocean and around an island. I already loved where we live, but am appreciating and loving it that much more. I am so thankful to have access to such amazing walks, especially since I will be home for 10 months with our baby. I can' wait to show her where we live:-)

- This isn't exactly a fun thing I have done lately, but Keith has. Keith is done with all of his courses in his master's program as of today!! Now, all he has left is his master thesis which is due on the 1st of September. I shouldn't say that the thesis is ALL he has left, considering the thesis is the equivalent of 5 master level courses. I am so proud of him and am extremely thankful that this is almost over. It has been both amazing and challenging. Keith and I have both really been so grateful for the experience of getting our masters. We have been inspired and engaged on a different level and we have learned so much more about ourselves. On the other hand, this experience has revealed aspects of ourselves such as our insecurities and has instigated extreme anxiety at times. Although this has been painful, it has been extremely important for us to be made aware that these things exist in us. We are really praying about these areas and making a conscious effort to dig deep enough so that we don't allow the vicious cycle to return, and so that we don't pass this on to our children.

Now for some picture updates... Enjoy!!!

The first picture is at 12 weeks pregnant and the second picture is at 21 weeks pregnant.

Here is a picture of the set-up for the family gender reveal. The cupcakes, the ultrasound pictures, and some pics of Keith and I as kids.

Sunset from one of our walks

I am experiencing the most pure love for, hope in, and inspiration from someone I have never met. This new relationship is causing such a vulnerability in me, challenging me to grow, learn, love and live in the way that Jesus truly desires for me.

We found out 4 and half months ago that we were going to have a precious angel baby. Although we were thrilled and thankful from the beginning, we are learning each and every day the extent of this blessing and miracle. This week, our angel is 20 weeks (or 5 months) old, and we are halfway to meeting this new little person.

Although I knew our lives would change, the experience is more amazing than I could have ever have imagined. When Keith and I got married, we experienced such a growth. We were, and are, challenged by each other and our relationship to grow and to always allow Jesus to mold us into the people he wants us to be and truly are. Becoming parents is challenging and inspiring us on a totally different level. It is inspiring an even greater vulnerability to give ourselves to Jesus, so that our angel will see and experience Jesus' love within us. I have such a hope that I won't have to TRY to be a good parent, and that I won't have to TRY to be the person that I want to be. But that by giving all of myself to the Lord, His love, kindness, hope, joy, and truth will be reflected.

Ever since I became a Christian I have known that this was the only way to live fully. To be completely surrendered to Jesus who is my inspiration, my hope, and my love. Although I have known this, and have surrendered aspects of myself to the Lord, I know that there are many areas of myself and my life I have held onto. So why not be honest for a moment about the things I have not given fully:

• My body image
• My cynicism 
• My sense of entitlement to offense when I see hypocrisy or contradictions
• My struggle with being truly vulnerable before I feel like I can trust people fully
• My struggle with being open and vulnerable after I have been offended (even if not personally)
• My struggle with being open and vulnerable in general... sometimes I feel like it is only Keith who sees all of me
• My stubbornness to not blindly allow my surroundings to mold me, sometimes causing me to go against something just because I don't want to just be like everyone else (Am I 13 yrs old still??)
• My shame from my insecurities leading me to seek approval in the wrong places
• My people pleasing nature

There are, I am sure, so many other areas I have not given fully to Jesus, but these are the things I have been reminded of lately. 

The reason I am going through these aspects of myself and surrendering them to Jesus for the first time, or again, is so that my little angel will not be influenced by these things in such a way that they will manifest themselves in her. She will enter our lives as such a pure and innocent child. My hope and desire is to learn from the innocence and purity that God has placed in her, and to teach her Jesus' love for her and the world. 

I am almost moved to tears every time I feel her kick. I know that sounds so silly, but each little love tap reminds me of her beauty and of the joy that she is creating, and will create by just being. I love her with all of my heart. 

The thankfulness I feel for who her Daddy is, is overwhelming. Keith Peavy swept me off of my feet 7 years ago with a love that I could have never imagined. He has been the most influential person in my life, and I love and adore him more and more every day. He is so genuine and sincere that people are actually skeptical of him in the beginning. He looks at the world and at life and always see the magic. He has such an interest and a curiosity in the world, which inspires me to always look outside of myself and my surroundings. I couldn't imagine a more amazing father for our little girl. She will grow up seeing the magic in the world around her. Keith is also the more vulnerable of the two of us. I am so thankful for this quality in him, and there is no way I will ever get away with closing myself off. Thank God for bringing us together in all of our imperfections to inspire some sort of balance in each other. 

When we moved to Norway, we knew that the repercussions would be that we would miss out on the lives of dear friends and family back home. This breaks our heart daily, and especially in times when there are new babies entering the world, wedding vows being given, and illnesses being overcome. We wish with all of our hearts we could be a part of our loved ones daily lives. This is unfortunately not the case, but there are ways we can better share what is going on in our lives. I have loved reading the blogs of friends. You get to experience their lives with them through their thoughts, pictures, stories, etc. We hope to use this blog to be able to share more of our lives, especially as this little angle grows, and as we develop into parents. Keith and I will both update with our thoughts and pictures:)