I recently read an article about ex-pats living abroad. It definitely sparked (once more) the feelings of being constantly torn between two places. Although we moved to Norway almost 5 years ago and definitley feel like it is home in many ways, Keith and I discuss on a monthly basis our feelings and thoughts on whether we will stay. Despite the fact that my entire immediate family lives here and I am technically half Norwegian and speak the language, it is probably me that initiates the conversation most these days. I am not saying that Keith does not miss his home and his family and friends, but Keith has definitely come to love Norway.
This will probably end up being pretty long but keep on reading if you are interested:)
Let me first describe our experiences of moving to Norway. I am half Norwegian, speak the language and have spent a good amount of time here, but I did live in the US from I was 5 until I was 23 years old. This makes me mostly American in many ways. Keith on the other hand is fully American but is one of those unique people who loves to travel and to learn about new cultures and was willing to move with his young wife to Norway to be closer to her family. I honestly never thought I would meet a man like him who truly loves his home but who would leave it all for a cold Nordic country. But Keith is a prayerful man and listens to his heart and we believed that this is where we were being led at that time. Rewind back almost 2 years before our move and we had just gotten married and moved to Charleston. WE LOVED CHARLESTON! For many reasons, but the friends we had and made while we were there was definitely the most important reason. Neither of us come from South Carolina or Charleston and we only lived there together for 1 year, but if we were ever to move back to the US we would no doubt about it move back to Charleston. But we truly felt that we were supposed to move to Norway and we needed to prepare for that move, so we moved to Conyers for almost a year. There were several reasons why I didn't love living there but the main reason was my 1 1/2 hour drive to work every day. It seriously sucked the life out of me and that is not easily done. But we truly enjoyed our time with Keith's parents and some of Keith's closest friends.
The move to Norway couldn't have come soon enough, which was mostly due to my work situation. I was sooooooo thankful to move when we did. I moved first and started working at a pre-school so that Keith could get a visa and Keith came a month later. That first summer was nothing short of amazing. If the weather is kind, Norway can be one of the most beautiful places to be from May until August. We biked everywhere, went to the beach right down from where we live every day, grilled out in my parents yard, hung out in Oslo, hiked in the mountains with my family and just truly enjoyed life. I loved being close to my family and working at the pre-school was such a blessing. Keith loved it too but probably had quite a different experience than I did. He didn't understand a word being said, he couldn't find what he needed at the grocery store due to the limited selection, he felt that people were staring at him, and that they were not exactly on the friendly side. It didn't take long for him to realize that Norwegians don't greet each other (AT ALL) but they look at each other as they walk by which is kind of awkward at first. Being southerners, we felt the extreme need to nod, smile, or wave, but nothing... no reaction what so ever. Anyways, Keith being the positive and curious person that he is he managed to enjoy the newness of it all.
We of course had ups and downs, but those first couple of years in Norway were life changing. It is an amazing experience to get out of your comfort zone completely. We didn't have that in mind when making the move, but we were taught so much about ourselves and about how much our previous comfortable environment made us blind to many aspects of the world around us. I am definitely not trying to say that moving to Norway, another western, peaceful, wealthy country, is even close to being as profound as moving to a country struggling in every way possible. But being torn from what you know and all the assumptions about the world based on your reality can be eye opening. I am not good at explaining things, but let me try. You know the man that is currently on board the international space station who is posting pictures of various places on Earth from his view?? Well its like living on Earth all of your life and seeing the sky and your surroundings from your viewpoint, and then being able to see the Earth from the outside. I don't know how he feels, but it makes me feel like you are all of a sudden able to see things not just from a different perspective based on where you are, but you are able to see things from the outside looking in. I am also not suggesting that the experience was profound becasuse we were looking back at the life and the place we left, but we were looking at ourselves, our lives, our beliefs, goals, priorities, ideologies etc.
This experience has challenged us in so many ways and has blessed us with more self awareness and humility through reflection. We truly believe that this experience was one of the many reasons Jesus challenged us to move. We have been in the process of learning how to truly be ourselves and we have been blessed with the opportunity to be just that. We have been allowed to grow and to change.
All of that being said, we are still and always will be torn between two places. We love our home here in Norway and all of the amazing people we have met and become friends with, but we love our home in GA/SC and all of our friends and family there. No matter where we live we will miss the other place, mostly because of the people. I think about what it would be like to move back to Charleston almost on a daily basis. I am sure I romanticize it in my head but it would be such an easy thing for us to do. We love the coast, the weather and all that comes with it. We love the people that live there and feel so at home with them, and we love the church we used to attend. But at the same time, life has continued for all of those we know there and in Georgia. They have changed and we have changed. In a wonderful way, but things are different and it would definitely be a transition for us and we would definitely miss Norway and all of the things and people we have come to love here. See.... this is and always will be difficult. No matter where we go from here, we will miss people and places. We knew we would always have this struggle no matter what since we have families on different continents. It is a blessing, and a heartbreaking challenge.
The most challengiug aspect has been watching friends and family go through major life events from afar, such as illness, marriage, and children. To miss out on such important moments in our loved ones lives has been rough to say the least. Having Amalie has magnified this challenge even more. We wish that she would feel a connection to both places and more importantly to all of our friends and family in both places. It breaks our heart to not go through such a life changing experience with all of our loved ones. Having said that, it is a blessing to have the ability to take time to visit home and this is and will be a priority for us always.
For now, we are in Norway missing our "home" back in the south. We believe we are where we are supposed to be right now and definitely love so many aspects about our life here. We play outside no matter what, and I mean no matter what. We just pack up the kids nice and tight in the necessary gear and we head out to play. There are trails and sidewalks everywhere so that you can bike, jog, walk and just enjoy the outdoors. Mothers get between 10-12 months of maternity leave, and the fathers get 3 of those months. The pre-schools are so amazing and no one worries about the quality, and in addition you don't pay an arm and a leg. We all get 5 weeks paid vacation every year, which makes it easier to visit family and friends who live far away. The seasons are amazing! Although winter could be a little shorter it is so much fun to enjoy 4 distinct and equally beautiful seasons. And maybe one of the most important reasons to stay in any place, we have met so many sweet and wonderful people who we would sincerely miss if we were to move.
We will always be torn!!
